Why we need to get into our dark side?
House of Tantra · 17 September 2024
A year ago I was confused about who I am. And about my other side, which was appearing during some unconsciousness states. I felt ashamed and wanted to hide from it. Those structures, which are my inner parts, and are mostly likely showing off, when there are suppressed emotions, for example anger, desire, revenge.
As far as I remember, I was taught not to be myself, and to hide my emotions, because they are so personal. Being detached from my feelings, pushing them away, and keeping underneath, made me not know who I was. During the loss of consciousness (being under the influence of alcohol), I was able to be a completely different person. I felt a great desire (or even lust), that I couldn’t stop.
However, returning to the conscious state, I was ashamed of these behaviours, and I preferred to forget about what happened. There were also situations in which I cut myself off from people, who were witnessing my shows, e.g. public undressing to expose my sexuality, or a great anger assault that could destroy the toughest wall.
I was aware of this, but I did not know the tools that would allow me to feel free and fully at home.
Many years of practice with the body, of various kinds, gave me the opportunity to grow on the path of so-called spirituality, but this work turned out to be superficial and not enough. I needed different tools, but at that time I didn’t have them.
I felt like “something” was slowly consuming me from the inside. I had the feeling of being in a cage.
A year ago I participated in the workshop “Embracing Underground”, facilitated by Dechen Dorje with the team.
I put myself into a deep and transformative work of my shadows. After that journey, my life completely has changed. A part of full body cleansing, where my eyes started to fully shine, my huge lust has been transformed, and it’s not anymore under my control.
I am aware of what is happening with my desire. Even if that parts are still mine, I don’t need to hide or be ashamed. I am fully conscious about them.
Thanks to bringing my underground to the light, I could touch my inner power and strength. Everything started to manifest on its own in my daily life. My work expanded in the way, that I can help others in their process of transformation.
Doris, Embracing Underground participant